BACKGROUND: My regular dreams are poorly remembered and often involve fleeting recalls of semi-literal iterations of various computer functions I was involved with during the day - I average daily sessions that run between 4 and 6 hours and the functions range through all the various stuff required in entry-level web development. Less frequently my dreams involve flashbacks to vestigial fragments of personal past events or fantasies. Anyone familiar with my website knows that I am not in the least concerned with satanic notions so the theme of this dream is totally out of character of my world view and panendeist reality paradigm.
Any newbie tracking their genealogy using the ancestry.com application can become near-overwhelmed in the maze of interconnected descendants and the incessant flow of "hints" of other ancestry trees and references the program keeps relentlessly adding. Except for the members of my family whom I had known personally, I had not yet begun- in any way, to speculate about the nature of the swelling list of ever more distant relatives. So far- I was just dealing with raw data without any humanity or character as my family tree grew explosively - branch after branch - leaf after leaf. That evening I had sporadic background thoughts about the tree of data- now composed of over 350 major individuals (with potential of thousands of offspring) but still had absolutely no thoughts about who or what these statistics represented in terms of their personal nature or life stories.
That night my dreams enveloped me in a powerful and all-consuming possession whose theme was a total aberration and disconnect from every aspect of my belief system. The level of emotional stress that arose in my dream-state can be compared to my semi-traumatic awake episodes with pysilocibin mushrooms and kundalini meditation- but rather than epic fearfulness- an overwhelming anxiety and emotional and physical stress arose over whether to embrace a sense of duty to help a messianic human-like being defeat an inexorable, malevolent, evil force that threatened to consume all humanity. It had aspects of possession as in my awake episode at the Goombay Festival but in that case I was simply possessed by a benevolent force orchestrating a brief coordinated collective performance that caused no anxiety or trauma whatsoever. (Lest any reader worry that they also might have a similar experience with ancestry.com - please read my assurance that the episode left absolutely no trace of any real-life trauma or lingering fearfulness.)
Here my dream involved a series of morphing metaphors of traumatic confrontation of two massive all-powerful organic bodies in a prolonged, slow-motion mortal combat. The humanoid's inflated size and strength seemed derived from its assumed moral righteousness and began to implore/demand that I join in its crucial battle. Although I was highly skeptical of the merit of his principles...I was torn feeling duty-bound to help in his life and death struggle. (At the time this "duty" had no conscious reason- but in awake retrospect- a genetic imperative probably caused an unconscious, primordial sense of kinship to manifest.) The humanoid's cause was to keep his adversary...a malevolent, hot, massive force-substance from emerging from its steaming pit with the intent to join and thereby feed a second horrible beast that lurked just inside an adjacent cave that pressed just behind the body of the messianic being. The impassioned humanoid was fighting to prevent their union which would exponentially enhance the now dormant potential power of this second beast. This other abomination was a totally abstract conglomeration that resembled rumpled masses of steel wool smoldering with burnt wounds caused by countless previous struggles that seethed with malevolent eagerness to be fed by the first monstrosity so it could emerge from its lair to possess all mankind with its evil nature. In the few moments my anxiety maximized - my sense of "duty" prevailed and at great risk I threw myself into the fray and became locked in a ferocious struggle to drive this diabolical evil back into its lair to prevent it from achieving its goal to feed its daemon child.
In a sequence that emerged from this first account- my dream morphed my POV of the epic struggle, where I was again watching the combat from a height some 30 feet above the scene where the messianic being was joined by a number of similar beings trying to force a separate huge, mechanical/organic mass as a battering-ram to barricade against the primary evil force trying to emerge from its smoldering pit. (Here no second beast appeared.) Again I was torn about joining the combat but could see that by leaping onto the tip of a long vertical projection of this ram that ascended within my reach- if I could get my added weight on to its apex...I could lever the vertical projection to twist and plunge the ram's head into the enemy which could be the decisive tactic to defeat its effort to pollute the world. I again felt duty-bound to make the life-or-death heroic leap onto the top of the lever and my last memory of this episode was my riding the mass as it fell- twisting and grinding its head into the beast- turning the tide of battle. (My sense of exhilaration was kind of like Major Kong- riding the atomic bomb down in the movie Dr. Strangelove )
Yet another morph of this theme found me alone- peering into a yawning black pit opened up from the bowels of the Earth, that calmly smoldered- not with hot malevolence but with supreme mystery. After a few moments I observed a small object was floating up out of the pit and was delivered directly into my out stretched left hand. It appeared to be some sort of antique tablet- rectangular- about 6 x 8 inches and 3/4 inch thick with a peaked cap at the bottom. At first it seemed blank and I thought- no way was there technology from such ancient origin to present an intelligible message... but slowly a pictograph was emerging from its blank face and it soon became clearly visible. At first I could not make any sense of it- but then I turned the tablet upside down and could make out, that formatted in what appeared to be ceramic tiles, was an iconic configuration of a black satanic figure with a white spear thrust through its midsection...my thoughts were that the white shaft was a fatal weapon the female supreme cosmic good had thrust through the beast's vital midsection thus annihilating it. This scenario fades out in the last memory of my exceptional dream.
Since then- as of this writing five days hence...my dreams are back to normal and have produced nothing remotely pertaining to satanic struggle- as has been the norm throughout my lifetime of 83 years- with this single exception. If I were independently prone to some sensitivity whenever exposed to any real-life episodes concerning satanic topics...it would have shown up in my dreams after the scenario I experienced in Satanists an account of my unmasking a satanic couple stalking an Outward Bound camper in Everglades National Park with the intent to commit a ritual murder. At no time thereafter was there any trace of review of that episode in my dreams although for a few days thereafter I was very much consciously involved- as I was intent on contacting the Outward Bound administration to warn them that they needed to take precautions to protect their clients against such risk.
I can only surmise that my virtual contact with all the characters from the previous centuries- most all from cultures that were deeply rooted in a literal concept of the eternal battle against a palpable Satan via the hellfire and brimstone Christian fundamentalism that permeated the religion practiced in South Carolina and Texas and Germany- somehow had subliminally imbued me in my dreams to join their obsession with their ideological/intrinsic struggle. I must emphasize that not once during the entire time I have become involved in searching my ancestry and since using the ancestry.com starting less than a week ago- had I considered or speculated about the character, psychology, religion or historical nature of the descendants I was recording and further- viewed each new tree leaf to add to my tree as raw data rather than living characters with any human quality other than a name connected to their genealogical and demographic statistics.
My dream of course has changed the way I now view my descendants and I am becoming more aware of suggestions in the data about how events like the Civil War, multiple marriages, consecutive infant deaths, 16 year old brides, and other details may hint at the nature of their unique individual personal characters. I am also happy to report that there are no lingering compulsions for me to consider their historic obsession about a relentless struggle to prevent satanic forces taking over mankind - having any credibility whatsoever- so my panendeism world view remains unshaken.
I should also offer a disclaimer that in no way has this dream experience produced any anxiety over exploring my ancestry using the extraordinarily effective ancestry.com application. I'd advise that (excepting my Kundalini episode)- the only way such psychic events may trouble us is to imagine elaborate explanations about them. The psychic events along with self-generated projections that arise in almost endless variety and novelty (some personal experiences I document in my Maya-Gaia web pages) are totally inexplicable and even more of an enigma than Samadhi which is the core subject of my pages. These events are the true terra-incognita in the map of our human consciousness and humanity's historic mistake has been to believe inventions for causal explanations that has resulted in an occult paradigm with a vast body of pseudo-formulas, for comprehending witchcraft, mediumship, hauntings, spirit possession and other psychic paranormal phenomena - all exquisitely codified without any intrinsic justification whatsoever. To be clear- I am not claiming that these events have no reality but that - unlike samadhi and the experience of non-dual consciousness- there exists no credible epistemology body to explain them.
My Panendeist view is close to that described in the following passage from Evolution & Creation: A Theosophic Synthesis by W. T. S. Thackara - A comprehensive examination of the perennial philosophy. Many traditions tell a story that begins and ends with nameless mystery, within which all creation and evolution take place. "The Tao that can be described is not the eternal Way. . . . Nameless is the source of heaven and earth" (Tao Te Ching). To help us conceptualize That in which "we live, and move, and have our being," theology has named it God or Supreme Being. To help us reach beyond the stereotype, theosophy calls it an abstract Be-ness: an omnipresent, eternal, boundless, immutable Principle which, like Plato's Idea of the Good, is "beyond being," adding that it is the "source and origin of force and of all individual consciousness, and supplies the guiding intelligence in the vast scheme of cosmic evolution" (The Secret Doctrine 1:15).
Regarding the ultimate challenge of apperceiving a supreme entity- my Panendeism believes the All is concurrently real (Gaia) and unreal (Maya)- a manifestation of God consciousness with synchronicities that may be fleeting moments of personal attunement that arise both spontaneously and in prayer- unpredictably through grace.
In fact I look forward to seeing if ancestry.com might project whatever deep ancestry data I find- to figuratively merge with the beginning of my Evolution-Involution website which carries all our human phylogeny ancestry back to the Big Bang and beyond.