Spent all day in the bath.
Started crying then laughing then crying...Back and forth for six or seven hourís non-stop.
Feel different now.
Saw a lot of my past conditioning, lots of past relationships and let it all go from my mind and body.
After I got out of the bath I went into my meditation room.
After I sat for a few minutes I suddenly felt quite nauseous and ran into the bathroom to throw up. Pretty strange because I hadnít eaten all day. I felt better after that and cleaned my teeth before returning to meditate. As I lit the incense I realised that I was feeling an almost overwhelming reverence and that a voice that seemed to come from my heart was intoning
"Lord, Lord, Lord" over and over.
As I listened to the voice it suddenly hit me that Ďsomethingí was happening to me, that I was breaking through into a deeper Reality - a reality that I was in fact creating with the mantra. I realised that, at last, my prayers were being answered and that I was having a transcendental experience.
The releasing I had done in the bath had cleared the path of the emotional roadblocks that I had put up and Oh My God, SOMETHING was approaching. I knew that in order for the approach to continue that I had to continue with my ritual preparations. Not an easy call at all as it turned out because my mind began to receive revelations.
Each revelation would take my breath away and leave my stunned and awe-struck, incapable of staying aware of the preparations. As I began to fear that I did not have the one-pointedness required to continue, words clearly appeared in my mind.
"Only Thee Lord, Only Thee."
I had no time to be surprised at the Christian tone of the mantra. Instead I mentally grabbed it as a drowning man grabs a log and using it, managed to finish the ritual and sit in lotus position cross-legged before the altar. I had the experience that all the ritual I had completed and indeed my own self was just an image or photograph taken in the future that I could somehow now naturally unfold myself into.
At this point I heard what I later found out was the gothic chanting of St Hildegarde, a14th Century mystic nun. It was as if I had reached the end of all my travails.
The end of lifetimes of searching.
That here, right here sitting like this was where I had always been, through the long and turbulent dreams of separation and loss, despair and death. It was all but a dream, nay, a thought, in the mind of one who sat eternally at the feet of the Beloved.
I saw the workings, the machinery, and the mechanics of Karma. How all my lifetimes culminated in this ever present awareness; ever here, ever near.
It was revealed to me that Life itself is no more than a game, a dream of Gods. My consciousness rose and gathered in the crown of my head and from there exited my physical form. I watched in thought free fascination as I rose through the ceiling of the room and into the freshness of the night sky. Looking down I saw my enlightened mind still sitting in front of the altar like a star burning.
As I rose higher into the cool night air I saw that star shoot out a laser beam of light which shot across Australia to a point on the east coast. From here another Laser shot out and down towards Melbourne. Melbourne glowed and sent a beam shooting back to Perth to make a shimmering triangle. Then each point of the triangle sent lasers outwards which joined up with other lights that I could see only as I rose higher above the Earth. Those lights sent out more beams faster and faster until the planet was covered in a shimmering network of energy which reached a critical vibration ....and exploded into light.
As my consciousness soared further into space I watched the Earth become a star. Looking back with love at that glowing orb I saw the strange form of the Elephant Headed god surrounding and protecting the star...
I recognised several planets as I moved faster and faster through space and felt our sun enter my heart. At this I was able to look down on our solar system which rapidly became a speck of light. Other solar sytems appeared and disappeared until I saw the spiralling arms of the galaxy. Moving ever more rapidly this galaxy became smaller and I saw other galaxies which shrank into a single point of light. Then just eternal void.
I rose as light through many realms of Being beyond human imagination. Realms vaster than galaxies where cubic golden gods evoked Divine thoughts which created billions of worlds like dust-motes in a shaft of sunlight.
For a while I became one of these Golden divinities until a star-cluster shattered itself on my brow and I rose again as light. The mantra was suddenly there and I used it like a rope ladder to climb through the world systems. I became the receptacle of all Knowledge, mundane and Divine.
Vast cosmic waves crashed through my indestructible mind which expanded and expanded until....my mind became completely empty and innocent and I was just a new-born baby wrapped in swaddling and held safely forever in the arms of the Divine Mother.
Then I fell.
I fell towards a distant star that got larger and larger as I approached. Spread across my view was a circle of fire which I fell into. Even though I knew that I was out of my body I felt whatever was left of me burn away with an incredible heat. I heard the crackling and popping as I passed through. On the other side of the fire I was renewed and purified.
The light was closer now as I continued to fall and as I approached there was suddenly the immensity of the Cosmic Christ. In blue robes of light and with eyes that were the genesis of Eternal compassion he showed me his breaking heart and held out his palm in blessing. There was nothing left between the vast sparkling light and myself. The sound of a thousand thunders threatened to snuff out the tiny flame of my awareness with its vibration. In the final freefall a cross appeared on my body centred over my heart. My heart opened from within and broke open along the lines of the cross. From the heart centre a smaller light rushed to reunite with the larger Eternal light.
My body separated into four parts which went off in four directions.
The two lights became One.
Then there was Absolutely Nothing.
A sense of I reformed.
I fell backwards through empty space.
Through strange heavens and stranger hells.
Through worlds familiar and alien, material and non-material ...until with a sudden SWOOSH I landed back in this body.
Newborn God consciousness was made flesh.
I lifted one hand and was looking at the fingers, marvelling at the miracle of creation for several minutes. I remembered doing this as a baby, fascinated with the materiality of incarnation.
I was back.
BACK TO CREDIBILITY TRANSCENDENCE
BACK TO THE GODHEAD EXPERIENCE
MAYA-GAIA INTRODUCTION & SITEMAP